Mean Murmurings II

wicked whispers
Another weekend, another celebrity wedding. Well, not actual celebrities getting hitched, but a celebrity wedding guest at a wedding also attended by me. And if you ask me, that makes it a celebrity wedding.

So, in true Mean Murmurings tradition, here is a dodgy photo with said famous person loitering in the background. Can you guess which former pop singer-turned TV actress this is? Oh, the excitement! I must go and have a calming cup of herbal tea.

wedding photo

Solution to casual attire catastrophes

Picture the scene. You’re on the way home heading towards a fairly casual evening event – maybe dinner with friends or the cinema. You step off the tube and you realise…oh no! My casual attire has a stain on it! Perhaps you’ve spilled your latte or dropped some soy sauce during your sushi lunch. What do you do? There’s no time to go shopping. It’s a casual attire nightmare.

Or so you thought.

Until the staff at South Kensington station installed just the thing to deal with the problem at the end of platform 1.

emergency gap jumper

A “positive connection”

tube ticket machineNext time you’re in a London Underground station buying a Travelcard or topping up your Oyster using a credit card, take note of the instructions on the machine:

“Insert your card until you feel a positive connection.”

Eh?

So, don’t just shove it in as far as it will go and hastily type in your PIN – stand there and wait until you feel some kind of Zen-like affinity with the QuickTickets machine. How long will that take? Is that why there are always such long queues at South Ken? It’s someone desperately shoving their card in and out of the slot and looking longingly into the screen muttering, “I just don’t think we connect…it’s not you, it’s me…”

Back row of the Royal Festival Hall

sister actWhat better place to be on a sunny June afternoon than wedged into the very back row of the Royal Festival Hall?

Pretty much anywhere you might think. But I’m talking about the brand-new, bells and whistles RFH, with revamped acoustics and 2,788 (very comfortable) seats.

I somehow ended up seeing a 300-person “gospel meets baroque” choir there last Sunday and, even from the back, the sound was great. The choir of non-professionals were all wearing different coloured T-shirts, creating a rainbow effect. No Sister Act smocks, shame. They even did the gospel swaying and clapping thing, complete with one comedy lady in the middle swaying the opposite direction to everyone else.

Outside on the South Bank there were kids running in fountains, people having picnics, live music…not very “London” at all. No doubt someone will get happy slapped all over Queen Elizabeth Hall soon and we can all breathe easy again.

royal festival hall